Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This is Brodie. He's sound asleep in his bed. The pink and purple blanket he has wrapped around him is actually my robe. He loves to snuggle with it. He says it's soft and smells like me. He loves me.

Sometimes I get wrapped up thinking about what all needs to be done. Yard work, house work, baking, cleaning, organizing. Sometimes I forget that I have 5 children who all love me. They all need my attention. They all want me to sit and listen to them tell me about their day. Sometimes I forget to listen. Sometimes I tune them out. Sometimes all I want is a little peace and quiet.

But these children won't be children very long. Jake is already 15. In less than 4 years he might be out of the house. Tony wants attention. He needs attention. He just wants someone to listen and hug him. Brodie is in school already. He is realizing there is more out there than just mom and Dad and his siblings. He wants to play with his friends but he still wants his parents close. It won't always be like that. Drew just wants me to do something with him, anything, he doesn't care. He just likes to spend time with me. And then there is the baby. I am her whole world for now, but that won't last either.

I asked my husband the other day if he thought we were being the best parents we could be. We certainly try. Some days more than others. There is always room for improvement. I just need to learn to slow down. Enjoy the moment. Feel good about my role and be the best mom I can be.

I hope my children always remember how much I love them. I want them to know that I did my best and I would do anything, anything to protect them and keep them safe.

There will always be chores. The house will always need tiding and the laundry folded. My kids won't always be kids. They won't always chose me first when it comes to playing, or give me play dough hot dogs and fries for lunches. They won't always want to sleep in my robe just because it's comfy and smells like me.

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